Panto and a lucky escape.

This weekend I went to Worthing to see the panto. The panto itself is worth mention, including as it did Cheryl Cole's 'Fight For This Love,' a trippy under-the-sea sequence featuring disembodied neon sea creatures, and a gorilla costume from the pound shop. All very Mighty Boosh, but not knowingly. Wimbledon it was not. Instead of Pammie we had an ex-corrie 'star' playing Robinson Crusoe (I was confused as to how they would turn this harrowing tale of desert island life into a pantomime too, but they managed it.) But it was all in good fun, and I left feeling pretty festive.

My feelings of festivity faded when my mum said we'd be having dinner in Pizza Express. I don't mind PE, but I can think of about 15 places I'd rather eat, and that's just in Worthing, not noted for its culinary panoply. I'm just always a little bit disappointed by whatever I order, it's always a little bit insipid or underplayed, it always feels a bit cynical and grasping.

Sadly it was fully booked out for a children's party, so we went literally two doors down and found a lovely family-run Italian restaurant where 7 of us gorged on platefuls of nosh, two bottles of wine and gallons of brandy (and an icecream for the child) for little under £20 a head. I had pollo alla rustica from the specials menu which was a massive piece of chicken blanketed in dolce latte and pancetta. Served with garlic potatoes and mixed vegetables, it made a very pleasing meal.

Sadly I cannot remember the name of the place, but if you happen to be in Worthing, then go to Pizza Express, turn left and head to this place. Oh and Louise from Hollyoaks was in there too, which may please any teenage boys in your party.

Red Door

The Red Door in Greenwich is the nicest cafe-slash-gift-shop I've been in for a long time, possibly ever. It made me want to start my own tiny tea room with a sideline in charming jewellery, ceramics and drawings by local artists.

I cannot fault it. We happened across the shop in the afternoon having been attracted in by some stunning feathered fascinators in the window. We were immediately charmed by the quirky necklaces and vowed to return later to try one of the hefty chocolate brownies in the window. I'm so glad we did.

We sat in a little sitting room at the back of the shop on magenta velvet sofas. This area is available to hire free-of-charge for meetings, interviews and book clubs. The brownie was almost too big to manage (I say almost, as it would take a pretty large brownie to beat me) crisp on the ouside and chewy and delicious on the inside, studded with massive chunks of chocolate. It was a king amongst brownies for sure. Everything was served on pretty mismatched vintage china. Sigh. With a pot of Earl Grey for two, we were charged a massive three pounds forty each. I told you there's no faulting this place didn't I?

A range of gluten free items, fairtrade coffee and toys to keep children amused further recommend this place as one of the best local gems in South London. I left with a really pretty bumblebee necklace too, but could happily have bought everything. I would tell you to go yourself, but that would mean I wouldn't be able to get a table, and that would be very sad indeed.

Charlotte Blues

The £5 chicken club sandwich from the "express lunchtime menu" is consistently excellent (and I'm a club sandwich snob) but 40 minutes for a sandwich and chips? Not very express is it Charlotte Blues? Please try harder, because you have the potential to be excellent. Next time I will try the pulled pork stack with home made BBQ sauce and coleslaw, but I'll make sure I have at least 2 hours to spare.

Pun Kum (yes really)

Work lunch at Pun Kum, 31 Windmill Street W1T 2JM. Two courses for £7.50 is undoubtedly excellent value, but my pad Thai wasn't very good. It was too sweet, with a discernible lack of any ingredients apart from noodles. Pun Kum is good for the price (not to mention a laugh at the suggestive name) but won't be high up on my lunchtime champions list.

I know it's not food but...

This is so funny, I had to put it somewhere. Just read it

Cheryl Kerl

Lovely Ballet

On Saturday I went to the ballet with my Mum for her birthday. Even with a hangover gained from drinking illegal quantities of Wray and Nephews and on just 2 paltry hours of sleep it was the best 3 hours of the last 6 months. Sparkly dresses, sculpted bottoms, men in suits and ladies in chic black dresses playing Tchaikovsky's magical score added up to a memorable experience for me, and hopefully for my Mum.

The Sleeping Beauty, first performed in 1890 in St. Petersburg was an 'example of Russian Imperial style at it's zenith' and the lavish sets and opulent costumes designed by Oliver Messel for the 1946 performance remain breathtaking to this day. Twirling like a phantasmagoria of sherbet sweeties, the fairies in the prologue contrast with the vampish Carabosse who arrives with an army of mice to cast her evil spell on the Princess Aurora. Maybe it's because it's nearly Christmas (yay!) but the ballet seemed to have a touch of the pantomime about it, with audience members booing and hissing at the evil fairy, which I have to say I guiltily enjoyed.

Sarah Lamb and Ivan Putrov were charming as the Prince and Princess, perfectly evoking the fairytale atmosphere and the tentative nature of first love. The supporting dancers brought massive exhuberance to the christening and wedding scenes, particularly Hikaru Kobayashi as The Blue Bird.

Watch a trailer here.

Everybody should go to the ballet at Christmas, it's pure joy.

Graphic FAIL

I was pleased to be invited to an evening of cocktails and canapés at Graphic on Golden Square last Tuesday, since those are two of my most favourite things. The invitation said 6pm-late, so I gathered up a few friends and turned up at around 6:45pm to this 'limited' and invitation only event.

We were thrown when there was nobody on the door taking names, more so when we shuffled through the bar and had to ASK whether there was an event even happening. We were told that someone would come over, a lady appeared and offered us a drink. There was no space to sit, and no canapés to speak of. I think one of my friends might have had a cod goujon. I had nothing.

We asked if there were any more promotional drinks available, only to be informed that no, they had run out of gin. Graphic claims to have the biggest selection of gin in the UK, and markets itself as a gin bar. I could see gin behind the bar. They just wouldn't give it to us. We left. PR fail. Graphic went from being a bar that I was keen to make my regular post-work haunt, to somewhere that I would be very reluctant to return to.

It's a shame, because it looks like a nice bar, good décor and seemingly good cocktails (need to try a dry martini in there before making a decision) some of which are served in a paint tin. Trendy. But they are disorganised, and I don't have time for bars that can't get their act together enough to bring you a few cocktails and put some mini burgers on the tables. Poor show.