Amazonica

Following the crushing defeat at the hands of the Germans on Sunday, my friends and I sought to smother our misery in a pillow of food. Obviously nothing even slightly Germanic could be countenanced, so we used a handy-dandy i-phone app (how modern!) to find a nearby restaurant meeting our requirements of 'cheap' and 'not German.'

We came up with Amazonica, which is a Columbian restaurant on Brixton Road. How novel! We exclaimed as we walked down the street, reminiscing fondly on the Cuban feast we enjoyed so rapturously in New York. How delicious! We squealed as we read the menu outside, deciding in our minds between crispy belly pork with red beans and steamed tamal. How quaint! We rhapsodised as we entered the wood panelled interior, complete with jazzy dance floor out back.

How thoughtless, we winced when we noticed the "highlights" of the afternoon's sporting debacle playing on a loop, showing on a television at the back of the restaurant. How rude! We growled when they refused to turn even the sound off when we asked them to, tears in our eyes. They then proceeded to LAUGH at us, for being upset about the sporting failings of our nation.

Frankly the food is irrelevant when the customer service is this poor. We were made to feel as though we were imposing upon them for daring to order food and spend money in their establishment. Perhaps I'm being naive, but I thought that the customer was always right, if I ask a restaurant in which I am spending money to turn the television off, I expect them to do so. To play something repeatedly which is clearly upsetting your guests, is very strange indeed. To laugh at them is rude.

Who has a television in a restaurant anyway?

Greek Beach by the Thames.

A charming PR exercise to encourage tourists to visit the economically devastated cradle of democracy.
We all know that the Greek economy isn't what it ought to be, but the Greek Tourist Board are seeking to dispel the newsreel images of angry rioters and plucky protest dogs and persuade tourists to return to the country in an effort to wiggle out of their economic crisis. New for 2010 is the ‘You in Greece’ campaign, which invites you to imagine yourself in Greece, and then make your dreams a reality by actually going there. Hence the arrival on the Southbank of the Thames, of the Greek Beach at Gabriel’s Wharf.

The tourist board have shipped in tonnes of sand from the islands of the Aegean and populated them with sun loungers to create an 'authentic' holiday experience in SW1. With a plethora of delights from Hellenic delicacies such as spankopita and kofte, to beach football, sand sculpting and frosty pints of Greek beer, you'd be forgiven for thinking that there's no reason to board a plane to enjoy the Mediterranean.

Unless however like on the day of my visit, the weather falls somewhat short of Grecian. In place of endless blue skies, sparkling seas and searing heat, I sunk my toes into the damp and chilly sand under a slate-sky and beside the murky waters of the Thames. That said, I'd recommend a visit if the weather picks up, I daresay that after a couple of pints of Mythos or a glass or two of retsina that you’ll be feeling distinctly Mediterranean. Lie back on a sun lounger, listen to the DJ beats and imagine you're sitting in an olive grove in sunny Greece. Then book yourself a flight and plough some cash back into the ailing Greeks’ empty coffers.

MEAT WAGON!

Finally we made it to the Meat Wagon BEFORE they sold out of meat for the evening. This was my third attempt to buy a simple burger from these maestros of meat, so you'll excuse the excited upper case  typing. For those of you who don't know, the meat wagon is essentially, a burger van. But it's the best goddamn burger van you've ever been to. The meat is all ethically sourced and blah blah blah, but it tastes bloody DELICIOUS. Polly and I were so excited, we ordered a Coney Island Dog to start with, which was a purely gluttonous move. It looks hideous, but it was very tasty. It's essentially a beef sausage topped with chilli con-carne, jalapenos and onions. Our long-suffering vegetarian friend was disgusted.

There's not a lot I can say apart from go. We waited an HOUR AND A HALF for our burgers, but every meaty mouthful was worth it. Burgers and 'dogs are £5-6.

The Meat Wagon
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Mrs Paisley's Lashings

Mrs Paisley’s Lashings at Holmwood House.

Elegant dining with a conscience.

Jo Wood and Arthur Potts Dawson have returned with characteristic flair for another seasonal Mrs Paisley’s Lashings hosted at Jo’s stunning Kingston home; Holmwood House. Arthur’s eco-friendly and sustainable approach to restaurant dining coupled with Jo’s dedication to bespoke producers and local produce create a truly unique pop-up dining experience. The series of events are sponsored by Hendricks Gin, the three little words that every girl dreams of hearing.

The idiosyncratic organic gin infused with rose and cucumber was used to great effect to create a range of summery cocktails such as the Holmwood Punch and also the Mrs Paisley’s Mojito, which also include fresh herbs from the Holmwood garden and honey from Jo’s own bees. Working my way through the carefully crafted menu I was thoroughly convinced of the fact that Hendrick’s will be featuring heavily in my summer drinking plans.

Six courses of organic delights including summer vegetable risotto, Bayonne ham and beetroot salad, spring chicken with garden greens and a lemon tart left me groaning but thoroughly convinced of Jo and Arthur’s opinion that local, organic and seasonal can still be delicious and glamorous.

Profits raised from Mrs. Paisleys Lashings will be ploughed back into creating Mrs. Paisleys Gardens in schools across the UK.  Jo and Arthur are helping set up small vegetable patches in inner city schools to teach younger generations about the importance of growing your own and the benefits of eating good organic food.

Originally published at http://www.theculinaryguide.co.uk/